What you need to know
Isn’t it easier to have a kid that sleeps anywhere on the go? When I started to teach Eli healthy sleep habits, this was the top question I got from friends and other parents and I totally get it. What they saw, was us rushing around to leave wherever we happened to be, just to get home so that Eli could sleep on time in his own bed. Wouldn’t it have been nicer if he could just sleep in my arms so we could stay a little longer? Sure and absolutely there were times I was envious of those babies sleeping through restaurant lunches, coffee dates and friend’s gatherings. But like everything, the flexibility that comes with a baby that sleeps anywhere comes at a cost and unfortunately, I learnt this the hard way with our first-born.
What people didn’t see was what life looks like after hitting fast-forward, with a much older/heavier/alert child. A young baby sleeping on your lap is lovely and sometimes, everyone should enjoy those moments. But the problem comes when the child gets so used to sleeping on the go, that they struggle to sleep in a bed. Babies are creatures of habit. If a child has only ever learnt to sleep in loud, bright environments or motion-naps in carriers, strollers and car seats, they will struggle if you suddenly pop them into a quiet, dark, still bedroom and expect them to sleep. This is problematic for both daytime naps and night-time sleep. It’s one thing choosing to enjoy a little stroll with your newborn snuggled next to you in the carrier in the gorgeously mild Doha winter sunshine, but fast forward to the suffocating heat and humidity of August in the desert, with a much older and heavier baby and you’ll understand what I mean. It’s no longer about choice, but rather necessity if that’s the only way your child has learnt to sleep. Every single day, I see exhausted looking parents pounding the beach path in search of elusive sleep. That was me 4 years ago!
Then there’s the single greatest advantage of sleep training; the predictability of knowing exactly what time and for how long Eli will sleep during the day. With an older sister at home I honestly don’t know how we would have managed without this. Being able to schedule appointments and activities for the day and knowing that once I pop him into bed, I have 2.5 hours to spend with Sira, work and get everything done is what makes our family-life work.
I’m not saying we need to let schedules rule our life and if napping more flexibly and on-the-go works for your baby and family, then great! But I’m a fan of the 80-20 rule. We still have the occasional car seat nap when we need to and that’s ok. Just always keep an eye on the future. Ask yourself, will what works for us right now, still work when the baby is older? When I want to return to work? Or if we’re considering another baby? Ultimately you want to get your baby the hours of sleep they need and in a way that works for everyone in your family, now and in the future.
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